Summertime is a glorious time for heightening one’s senses to the carnal pleasures. All that beautiful flesh on show, people feeling frisky and full of the season’s joy– tis certainly the season for sensual delights.
But all this hot weather can play havoc with a man’s trouser department. Namely in the form of ‘Betty Swollocks’ and her even uglier sister – chafing.
In the words of Hamlet: Aye, there’s the rub.
That burning sensation between your thighs when you walk, or even while you’re sat down, can be a real irritant when temperatures rise. Particularly for those chaps condemned to wearing long trousers – or even jeans – in the heat.
What is chafing?
When chafing occurs, it can make one wonder if there really is a God. But alas, it’s all part of His natural law of biology.
Simply put: when sweat combines with friction, you get chafing which causes a nasty rash or even blisters between your thighs. This is particularly true for the more rotund gents among us whose thighs are wider, thus, prone to rubbing together when they walk. It not only causes us immense discomfort, it can also deter us from other forms of exercise such as tennis and sex.
Fear not: help is at hand.
If you’re suffering from heat rub, try wearing looser fitting slacks or trousers made from a smoother material. Surprisingly, a lot of suit trousers work better than linen in this respect as they don’t create as much friction. But this may not be the whole problem since it could be your thighs themselves, not your trousers, which are causing the friction.
Designed as a solution to the dreaded ‘chub rub’, body powders can be a godsend on hot days.
Anti Monkey Butt powder is a product whose name forever condemns it to locked medicine cabinets the world over. But, despite its unappealing name, Anti Monkey Butt powders’ demulcent properties really do the trick, rapidly soaking up the sweat which can cause such terrible irritation.
Old school remedies
But if you’re in a hurry, or don’t fancy explaining the presence of a bottle of Anti Monkey Butt powder to any potential guests, good old fashioned talcum powder or baby power should suffice at soaking up all that excess moisture.
If you’re more active, however, you may need to smooth the ride even more by reducing the friction of your thighs rubbing together. Body Glide is a product formulated – and marketed – specifically for chafing. But similarly, a good old-fashioned lubricant such as Vaseline or even KY jelly – of which you should already have an ample supply – will be just as good.
Keep it smooth, and keep it steady.