We live in an age of technology where an easy hook up is just a few swipes away.
You have a case on your phone to protect it so don’t forget to do the same thing for your todger.
George Osborne’s decision to cut £200m from the public health budget means that sexual health services will be spending £40m less this year, which is a right cock up.
Some councils have already started to reduce their budget for testing people for sexually transmitted infections, so getting an appointment may be harder than getting a match on Tinder (or is that just me?).
Dating apps and “chemsex” are thought to be behind the rising STI’s. The diagnosis of gonorrhoea has increased by 107% since 2010 in the UK and syphilis is up by 63%. Infections among 45 – 65-year-olds have risen by 147% for gonorrhoea, 72% for syphilis in the same time period.
It also means that the pitter-patter of tiny feet may be with you because the cut will also effect services for women’s long term contraception plans such as the implant and coil.
So what does this mean? And how can a man protect oneself?
Don’t beat around the bush. Firstly, get yourself checked at a clinic. The Walk in Clinic in London provide test results in a matter of hours to give you peace of mind before your next raunchy encounter.
Secondly, make sure you are using condoms which protect you against knarley diseases.
Chappie’s advice; clean your plate before you have dessert.