Good day chaps! Are you ready for a history lesson?
As a species, we humans are pretty mercurial, yet when it comes to looking at our sexual behaviour, it’s easy to spot similarities between the past and the present.
Gender dynamics have undoubtedly shifted as society continues to become more progressive, but have we really changed that much? Take a look at Chappie’s research into the weird and wonderful sex trends through history and have a think about how life compares today! Let’s go back in time….
In Ancient Egypt, lipstick is an invitation for oral
We’ve all got that friend who makes the excuse ‘she’s so hard to read, I don’t know what she wants!’. Justin Bieber even wrote a song about it.
Well Justin, it’s a pity you weren’t around during the times of the Ancient Egyptians, as you’d have had no problem working this out.
Many historians agree that the Egyptians were one of the first cultures to embrace make-up, including lipstick, which women would use as a symbol of their volition to perform oral sex. Wild eh?!
Men were also widely known to wear lipstick, to protect their lips from the burning sunlight – only the very poor in society didn’t wear it. I hope the oral sex messaging system worked in both gender directions but I’m sceptical given women’s social status at this time.
The Roman fear of lettuce = fear of impotence
The belief that certain foods held aphrodisiac properties was shared by many ancient cultures, however, the Romans took this a step further. Their ideology was that if certain foods can help turn you on, then by the same token there were some that would turn you off – namely lettuce.
The Romans were adamant that eating the green stuff would lead to impotence and even death and whilst it’s not 100% clear on how this thinking came to be, historians suggest a link to the part it played in Adonis’s death, who was slain by a wild boar on a bed of lettuce.
This may all sound a bit bonkers but we have our own modern equivalents today – diets high in saturated fat and sugar are linked to poor sperm quality and erectile dysfunction.
It’s worth mentioning that the difference is, today we’re fortunate to have science to help us when it comes to confirming this!
Didn’t I tell you in the intro that we haven’t changed that much since the dark ages?!
Christianity & polyamory
Modern Christianity predominantly preaches the idea of traditional marriage, between one man and one woman. However, there are plenty of examples where the Bible wavers from this ideal.
In the book of Genesis Lamech is said to have married two women and there are several references to prominent polygamist characters in the Old Testament. God also told David in 2 Samuel 12:8 that if he wasn’t satisfied with his wives and concubines, he could seek out more.
Fast-forward to Darwin’s theory of sexual selection, where the thinking was that women have greater investment in offspring than men and are therefore less likely to engage in sexual activity, making way for conflicting sexual agendas.
Today (now that women are no longer burdened by the expectation to have children), perhaps it’s worth considering the possibility of reimagining the old polyamorous narrative that’s spoken about in the Old Testament?
In short, why shouldn’t women now benefit from the same freedoms that men were privileged to have hundreds of years ago and without the stigma?!
Now that women aren’t brainwashed by the patriarchy into believing they’re baby vessels and nothing more, perhaps polyamory is one of the new ways in which humans can have relationships?
Louis Theroux recently explored the idea in a BBC Documentary if you’re looking for some compelling lockdown viewing.
Food for thought my friends!