Sex and gossip around it are as old as time. And despite your history syllabus consisting of laborious war stories after war stories, it may have been more helpful to learn about the history of sex.
So, below, we’ve broken down some sex stories from throughout time, which will be an interesting look at how attitudes towards sex have changed with time and culture.
Birth Control as early as 1600 BC
Egypt, and Egyptian women in general, are often overlooked for the changes they made to the way we live. As early as 1600 BC, the women of Egypt would soak a clump of cotton in a mixture of fruits, honey and dates to form a ball of spermicide. Sometimes they would even use dried crocodile dung to act as a diaphragm when having sex also. This would be a DIY method of birth control during the time – over 3000 years ago.
Greek soldiers leave their wives with something to hold on to
The ancient Greeks were far more kinky and sexual than your history teacher would have told you. They were reported to have fashioned dildos out of materials like leather, wood and even bread. These penis-shaped phalluses were known as ‘olisbokollikes’. Greek soldiers were known to give them to their wives before going off to battle.
Rome’s 45 brothels were easy to find
At one stage in 300 AD Rome, there were 32,000 sex workers operating in the city. As prostitution was fully legal in Rome, men and women would work in the sex industry.
The city roads even had road signs shaped like penises etched into the floor to point the way to the nearest pleasure house. It was so common across the whole Roman empire that ‘brothel tokens’ were invented which featured different sex positions and held different monetary values – these could be used despite any language barrier.
Cock Ring: Made in China
Around 1200, known as the Jin and Song-era in China, Chinese men were using the eyelids of goats as cock rings. In some cases, they would leave the goats’ eyelashes on to add an extra level of stimulation for the person involved. Want to be even more creeped out? You can still buy natural goat eye cock rings online today.
Skimpy 1700s fashion was anything but modest
You may be under the impression, probably due to classical paintings, that women in the 1700s dressed with modesty and poise. You would be wrong. A big trend at the time was Parisian women wearing dresses called merveilleuse. This trend worked its way over to England and saw women wearing sheer dresses over their clearly visible nude bodies.
Sometimes they would even wet the dress so that it clings even closer to the skin. It was a scandalous movement at the time and one that many people don’t know about.
Poemhub before Pornhub
Before pornographic media, both physical and digital, erotic poems would be performed or distributed in medieval France. Travelling bards would perform sex poems called Fabliaux.
These include titles such as ‘The Priest Who Peaked’, ‘The Knight who made assholes speak’ and far more lewd creations, which you can still find online if that’s what floats your boat.
Catherine the Great liked to have her foot tickled
In the 18th century Russia, empress Catherine the Great and her contemporaries would employ girls and eunuchs as full-time foot ticklers to arouse them sexually.
The ticklers supplemented their sensual tickling with erotic stories to get the royals ready and in the mood for a steamy night with their husbands/lovers.
King Edward’s favourite brothel
King Edwards VII was known to frequent the Parisian brothel called Le Chabanais. Le Chabanais had 30 rooms, with each room holding a different theme such as ancient Roman.
King Edward’s favourite room was the Hindu room. He would use the service so much that the brothel made him a special loveseat to support his massive weight when he was being attended to by French mistresses.
The cereal defence against masturbation
Before he was known, John Harvey Kellogg was a Michigan doctor trying to combat and curb masturbation. Kellogg believed that if he made a more flavourful food it would deter people from being horny. When this didn’t work, Kellogg pivoted to being a straight cereal merchant.
The forgotten – but not forgiven – Chamberlain-Kahn Plan
In the early 1900s, there was a massive problem with STIs spreading amongst American Soldiers. In a ludicrous move, the Chamberlain-Kahn Act (also known as the American Plan), allowed authorities to quarantine 30,000 women to combat the spread of STIs. These women were forced to undergo genital exams, were imprisoned and in some cases sterilised using mercury and arsenic.
Now, be real with me? A lot of that wasn’t in your school assigned textbook, was it? It’s always interesting to read about sexual tendencies through history and different cultures because your history teacher certainly won’t tell you about it.