Now, I know the question you’ll all be asking yourselves this month – how will Chappie celebrate International Men’s Day on 19th November?
Will he take a picture of his member and project it 50 feet high onto the Houses of Parliament? Will he go and find the biggest horse he can and ride it around the country while stroking his moustache in the manner of Clarke Gable? Will he even go so far as to dangle his doobries off the edge of the world’s tallest building? Sadly, none of the above.
No, Chappie will follow the far nobler pursuit of bringing you some quite frightful statistics and giving you some helpful tips to prevent you becoming one of them.
Firstly though, what is International Men’s day all about? Well, the aims are simple:
- To promote male role models
- To celebrate the contribution that men make
- To focus on men’s health and wellbeing
- To highlight discrimination against men, the inequalities that men and boys face
- To improve gender relations and promote gender equality
- To create a safer world for everyone
This year’s theme is: working together for men and boys.
Chappie isn’t 100% sure what that means but it makes me come over all fatherly. It makes me feel even more fatherly when I read some of the statistics on the International Men’s Day website:
- 40% of men still die prematurely (before the age of 75)
- Three times more men kill themselves than women.
- Men visit their GP 20% less frequently than women and are also much less likely to have regular sexual health check-ups or to use community pharmacies as a source of advice and information about health.
- 80% of the prison population are male.
- Men aged between 18 and 25 are more likely to be attacked than anyone else in society. In fact, men are almost twice as likely to face violent attack as women.
Crikey! Those are shocking. Luckily, Chappie has some advice to put a stop to this dreadful business. For all the health related stuff, we have the wonders of City Walk-In Clinic in London to turn to. They offer 15% off an STD test of your choice if you ‘Like’ them on FaceBook or follow them on Twitter. Hooray!
If only the crime related problems were as easy to solve. What Chappie would love to say is ‘just stop doing naughty things’ but that wouldn’t be very helpful so here are some far more useful tips for staying out of trouble:
How to avoid getting into a fight
- Try to be relaxed. Stress will only make things worse (as it does with everything).
- If someone gets lairy with you don’t get lairy back. Try to talk your way out of problems. Stay nice and calm and take big breaths.
- Getting up close to people is just asking for trouble. Keep your distance and try to politely suggest that others keep theirs.
- Watch how you stand: crossed arms, hands on hips, a raised arm is challenging and confrontational. Look confident but don’t touch someone if you don’t have to.
If you think you’re about to be attacked
If you do meet a problem, your main aim should be to GET AWAY, fast. There is no shame in doing this, laddies; it’s what Chappie would do.
- Walk, try not to run, away as fast as you can. Head for a place where you know there are people.
- Don’t look back. Try not to panic.
- Shout for the police or for someone to call them.
- Report any incident as soon as possible. You may save someone else.
- Physical self-defence should only be a last resort especially if you don’t happen to be a black belt in a martial art. It also limits your options and commits you to a fight you could lose.
- If you see someone else in danger – ring 999.
Avoid dangerous situations
The best way to deal with problems is to avoid them in the first place.
- Let someone know where you are going and when you will be back. If your plans change, tell someone.
- Avoid using unlit or isolated cash machines.
- Do not ignore your instincts, e.g. hackles rising at the back of the neck, a definite sensation of the willies. Act straight away.
Follow these simple guidelines to stop yourself become a depressing statistic and be proud of your manliness on Wednesday 19th November – International Men’s Day.